CSI Miami "Resurrection": It...Is...Alive!

All photos from CBS

Coming at the end of David Caruso Day was the season premier of CSI Miami titled “Resurrection”. This episode was named “Resurrection” for a good reason. You see, the immortal Horatio Caine (David Caruso) isn’t dead. But you knew that already, didn’t you? There is no way that the show would kill off the star of the show, the character some fans love, some fans love to hate, and some crazy people stalk.

But here’s how it goes down.

The episode opens with a flashback from the season finale ”Going Ballisic”, where we see Horatio Caine, laying apparently mortally wounded on the tarmac, his sunglasses nearby, one lens shattered by a bullet. Of course, he wasn’t wearing his sunglasses at the time he was hit, and there is no blood on or near his eye, so he knows he didn’t get shot in the head. Ryan is getting a message on his phone saying “It’s done.”

A body bag is being zipped up as Ryan (Jonathan Togo) and the ME Wellner (Kurt Long) look on. Calleigh (Emily Procter) and Eric (Adam Rodriguez) arrive at the scene, and are shocked to find that Ryan has already released Horatio's body so the media wouldn’t get a look at his body on the tarmac, laying there in his own blood. . Of course, they seem to be more concerned with how fast Ryan got there than immediately checking the crime scene. Eric goes to the morgue to see the body, and is shocked to find that the ME had already released it to the Feds but the ME has no recollection of the agent’s name.

Eric smells something…and it’s not dead bodies. Well, maybe he DOES smell dead bodies, after all it is a morgue. But I think he senses the stink of conspiracy!

Back at the tarmac, Frank (Rex Lynn) is filling in Calleigh, telling her that Horatio was there to see off Julia Winston (Elizabeth Berkley) and son Kyle (Evan Ellingson) on a private jet to Puerto Rico. But they can’t be located there. Eric is still wondering why Ryan got to the crime scene so fast. (Focus, Eric, focus!) Natalia (Eva La Rue)finds a partial shoe print and a speck of blood evidence, which, back at the lab, she finds it belongs to a criminal who had been killed in jail the day before. She thinks someone stepped in that person’s blood and tracked it to the tarmac. How convenient.

Faster than you can say “DNA evidence”, a recently released convict named Diaz (Saul Huezo), whose shoe print matched the one on the tarmac, is in custody. The sole of his shoe still has blood on it, and Eric declares, "We know you're an associate of Juan Ortega.”( Jose Zuniga ) Of course, he denies he is involved in Horatio’s murder, he was just there to catch a flight. He just so happened to take a picture with this camera phone after hearing a shot so he could send the photo to Ortega and take credit for the hit. In the photograph, in the pool of blood, we see a reflection of something on top of a nearby hangar. "That's not something," Eric says. "That's someone." How anyone can see that kind of detail from a low-resolution camera phone shot is beyond me. Faster than you can blink, Eric and Calleigh are at the top of that hangar, looking onto the tarmac. Calleigh states the obvious: "Perfect vantage point for a shooter. " Yes, I could have told her that, even without the photo. In searching the area, Calleigh finds a bandage. She says she had spoken to Agent Caldwell (David Keith) that morning and he (gasp!) had the same bandage!

Now, Caldwell is being grilled and he denies any involvement in the killing of Caine. He says they were both were trying to get Ortega for the sale of alloy bullets. But Calleigh says that the signature of the mystery agent, Dean Redland, who signed out Caine's body, matches Caldwell's handwriting! Calleigh also show Eric Caldwell’s PDA with the text message "It's done." But who did Caldwell sent it to? Eric calls the number and Ryan answers. Eric’s outrage is evident, saying "It all makes sense now…How you got there so fast, why you released the body!"

"I was just following orders," Ryan whispers. Eric has a cow, grabbing Ryan. ‘Orders from who, Wolfe? From who?” "From Horatio." Shock! It…Is…Alive! Eric and Calleigh want the details, and Ryan tells them that the ME was an ATF plant, Ortega was sending someone to kill Horatio. Saris (Kim Coates) wanted Horatio dead as well. The only way Horatio would survive was to stage his own execution. Caldwell did the shooting and Ryan was responsible for the blood. "Where's Horatio now?" Eric asks and Ryan tells him "He could be anywhere."

We then see Horatio at a lovely home, sunglasses in tow. The burning question is, did he use a throwaway pair of sunglasses when he got “shot”, or did he just get a new pair? Oh, the drama of it all! He draws his gun, he carefully walks around, and he finds Julia and Kyle in the house, alive and kicking. Julia wants to leave, but Horatio won’t have it. He doesn’t want Julia seeing Ron, but Julia objects, "That man is my husband. " Horatio tells her, "And that is your problem… "I need four more hours." He gives Julia a key to a “safe place” and tells Julia to go there and wait for his call. But Horatio is going underground.

Later, on a hidden dirt road, a man meets Horatio. Apparently Horatio saved his life years ago and he wants to help Horatio. Horatio just wants the alloy bullets oft the street. The man hands him a briefcase, with $10 million inside. Horatio can’t use normal methods with the police to get that cash because things were “complicated." He trusts Horatio, saying, You will retrieve these bullets. Lives will be spared." Horatio smiles and answers, "If it's the last thing I do." (Can we only hope?)

Meanwhile Eric and Caldwell interrogate Ortega, but he refuses to cooperate. Eric and Caldwell suggest to Ortega that they drive him through gang territory and sit him in “the informant’s seat.”

Caine, still in the middle of nowhere, meets with Yelina (Sofia Milos) , who agrees to take the money and pose as a buyer who wants the fused alloy bullets. Caine cautions her to be careful but that he will be close by.

As Eric and Frank drive Ortega through Miami, gunfire breaks out nearby. Eric and Frank find two hooded men shooting at an armored truck. While this is going on, Ortega escapes. Afterwards, Eric and Frank determine that the armored truck shooting was staged to free Ortega, and that fused alloy bullets were used in the attack, which went right through the bulletproof armor.

Later, Eric meets with Horatio in a parking garage, and is hurt that Horatio chose Ryan to help him in his deception, and not him. Horatio seemed to be trying to protect Eric should the sting fail. Awww!

Calleigh, now at the scene, found skin scrapings on the glass of the driver's side door from one of the shooters. Back at the lab, they find it skin belongs to someone named Todd Keener (Alex Solowitz) who is not a known affiliate of Ortega’s gang. Within minutes Eric questions Keener who refuses to “rat out my boys," adding, "You cops, you just don't get it. You're on the short end. The gangs got all the ammo. You're nothing but ducks on a pond." Eric tells Horatio, now at the police department, that it seems the bullets are everywhere, and Horatio says he’s working on it.

Meanwhile, Yelina is meeting with Ron, wanting to purchase the bullets. And she wants ALL of Ortega’s supply. He is suspicious, and he pulls a gun on her. But she promised a deal to Ron that would make Ron a wealthy man. She gives him the $10 million as a down payment. He tells her he keeps a boat down at the marina, and that’s where he will be.

Ryan and Eric are able to trace Ortega’s movements from when he escaped the car by tracking blood drops, and theorize that he stole a car to get away. Back at the lab, Ryan and Calleigh find that the traffic signal at the armored car crime scene had been fixed to stay red, which kept the armored truck in place, allowing the ambush. After tracing the people who have such a device that can keep the light red, they track it to ATF agent Jake Berkeley (Johnny Whitworth), Calleigh’s former main squeeze. Immediately, they question Berkeley, and of course he denies he did it, saying he’s working undercover. Apparently the gang took his motorcycle that had the device. He agrees to help them.

Meanwhile, Yelina is watching Ron meeting with the gang members to get the bullets. Of course, they are doing the deal in broad daylight, because Ron thinks Horatio is dead. Yelina calls Horatio to tip him off that the deal is done.

Now, Ron, with Yelina is buying back all the alloy bullets from the local gang, and Ryan and Eric search for Ortega. Ryan and Eric remember that they still have Diaz's cell phone, and finding a call from Ortega, they trace the location of the call: an airstrip at the end of the Everglades. Wow, these people are quick!

At the airstrip, Ortega is preparing to get on a private jet when the cops arrive, Horatio Caine making the arrest himself. "Taken down by a dead man," Ortega states.

Berkeley is back at the lab, with a load of guns from the gang's safe house that he believed were used in the ambush. But, he had to break his cover to get the guns. "I didn't do it for the case, Calleigh," he says. "I did it for you." They kiss.

At the marina, we also see Ron and Julia in a kiss, with Ron explaining his plans to take them to South America by boat and sell them. They will be happy together. But Julia drops a bomb on him that she wants a divorce. Walking away, we see Horatio Caine there, with his gun drawn. Ron yells, "What the hell is this?” Horatio responds "It's called irreconcilable differences. "

Ron shoots, and Horatio fire back hitting what looks like a propane tank, which explodes, causing the bullets and the entire boat that Ron is in to explode as well. The blast should have knocked Horatio off his feet, yet he remains planted to the ground, not even dropping to protect himself from flying debris. Afterwards, Eric tells Horatio that they still can't find Ron's body, but the bullets appear to be gone. As the episode closes, Horatio promises, "Whatever it takes, we'll find him," to which Eric responds "It never ends, does it?" And, because he still needs a job and we need a show, Horatio Caine answers, "And it never will.”

Well, it looks like the CSI Miami team wrapped up the “death” of Horatio, solved an armored car heist, and got those fused allow bullets off the street in less than 24 hours. That is some police work – some unbelievable police work, that is. I know that these shows deal a lot with compressing time just for the sake of moving the episode along faster, but some of the speed in which they do so is laughable. It seems that they are able to get DNA results and identify to whom it belongs in nanoseconds. They are able to get people in for questioning with the blink of an eye. They manage to have an ME in place that just so happens to be an AFT agent who can help stage Horatio’s death. Horatio, who is a crack shot, isn’t able to hit Ron on the boat, yet misses and hits a propane tank, blowing it all up. And, even more amazing, the explosion didn’t even seem to ruffle his hair. It’s just all too convenient.

Of course, Horatio thinks nothing of putting the women he loves in jeopardy – Yelina, Julia – in order to take down the criminals. He’s such a user!

CSI Miami, which still draws huge viewership across the country and around the world, seems to revel in appealing to the lowest common denominator. The story lines are simplistic, the evidence too convenient. Let’s not forget that the acting is wooden and the characters predictable. And you know what that means? It means I’ll be back for next week’s episode.


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