Tuesday, May 20, 2008

CSI Miami Going Ballistic: Caine’s Sunglasses a Casualty


All Photos CBS

Actually, this episode of CSI Miami was rather good, if you could look past some of the corniest lines of the season, the complicated storyline, the appearance of Horatio's son and his mother, etc.

The story begins with the death of Manny Ortega (Jay Tavare) who appears to have fallen from a high floor of a building. While inspecting the body, brand new medical examiner Shannon Higgins (Allison McAtee) thinks that Ortega is still alive when she hears him breathe. She calls out for assistance, shots are fired, and the whole crime scene is sprayed with bullets, everyone scattering for cover. Sadly, the new ME is shot dead, along with the already dead Manny Ortega. Of course, even though she’s an experienced ME, Eric seems to think she didn’t know the difference between a breath, and a death rattle. We also get introduced to the replacement of the replacement ME, Thomas Wellner (Kurt Long), a funny last name for someone who deals with the dead.

In an obvious scene that screams “I’m involved in the crime,” Manny’s brother Juan Ortega (Jose Zuniga) comes to see the body and immediately asks for Manny’s belongings. Later, they discover that Manny dropped from a nearby building and locate blood at the scene, which traces to ETF Agent Evan Caldwell (David Keith), and to a case he’s working on involving illegal ammunition sales. As Caldwell explains himself to Horatio Caine (David Caruso), we get this dialog:

Caine: Am I…supposed to be satisfied by this?
Caldwell: I guess you’ll have to be.
Caine: Not for long…agent. Beat it.
Caldwell: Toodaloo.

Beat it? Toodaloo? Wow, those are fierce fighting words.

Later it’s discovered that the shots came from a nearby parking garage, which apparently the team was completely blinded to because of the sun. Personally, I would think a wide-open parking garage should have been one of the first places they checked for a sniper. They also believe that the ammo misfired and that someone probably got injured, leading them to Ron Saris (Kim Coastes), who is in a relationship with Julia Winston (Elizabeth Berkley), Horatio’s old flame and the brat’s – I mean Kyle Harmon’s (Evan Ellingson) mother. Of course, Ho and Ron verbally spar, with Ron making veiled threats to Horatio.

Later, getting prints off the casing leads them to a company selling ammunition, run by Brad Gower (Steve Braun) who denies any involvement. Calleigh (Emily Procter), while studying the bullet, gets distracted by a phone call and the bullet rolls off the table and discharges, firing into the ceiling and causing an explosion and fire. So much for her refresher proficiency training. Of course it’s not her fault, seeing that the bullet was old and defective. (It's never her fault, you know. She's perfect!)

But, Eric finds one magic bullet undamaged in the rubble, and traces it back to Brad Gower. We find out he’s very involved in moving old ammunition, and while carting him away, Brad gets shot by a sniper. Calleigh later questions EFT Agent Caldwell and gets more information and a list of people he has been investigating. One of them is, of course, Ron Saris. Ron claims he has an alibi, that he was marrying Julia at the time, and again levels a few threats at Horatio. Horatio has nothing of it, saying Ron will be dead by father’s day. Horatio then talks with Julia and asks her to meet him at the airstrip afterwards with Kyle so he can whisk them to safety. She agrees but Kyle is unhappy.

Meanwhile, the CSIs continue to track the second sniper and thanks to Bluetooth – which strangely sounded like an ad for Bluetooth in the scene – they trace the car back to Colin Madison (Lyriq Bent) who worked for Brad. During questioning of Brad, Ryan excuses himself, saying he is late for something and will explain later. Colin admits to the killing, but says he was forced into it by Juan Ortega. Of course, when they go after Juan, they finally put together that he wanted his brother’s belongings because he was concerned there was evidence implicating him in the ammunition deals.

Juliet also excuses herself from the brat – I mean Kyle – and says she has to take care of something, and leaves. I’d like to take this moment to say that I find Elizabeth Berkley extremely scary looking. We then see Juan in custody, calling someone to tell them to take out Caine, and then see Kyle loading a gun. Clearly, trouble will ensue.

As Horatio Caine waits patiently on the super black glossy airstrip, which appeared to be newly waxed or something, the jet revs its engines. Horatio removes his sunglasses and we hear gunfire – and Horatio drops to the shiny ground, his sunglasses sporting a hole in the lense. While Horatio seems to twitch from injury, Ryan is getting a text message telling him “It’s done,” which we are probably supposed to think it’s Horatio’s shooting and it probably really is something stupid like it’s his dry cleaning that’s finished.

Horatio on the super glossy tarmack


Of course, we get the long pullback through the fatally shattered Sunglasses Of Justice, with Horatio’s face seen through the lens as he lay on the shiny, mirror-like ground.

Whew.

Of course, since we know that drama queen David Caruso is the whole reason why this show exists (he may think it’s why the WORLD exists), it is doubtful he’s dead. Just the fact that the sunglasses were not on his face, we only heard ONE gunshot, and the hole is in his glasses, that Horatio is either just injured or maybe even faking being dead. What I find amusing is that the best acting Caruso has done in years is when he’s shot and apparently dying.

As everyone in law enforcement outside of Caine’s department are bad people, I am sure that Agent Caldwell will turn out to be evil and involved. And I am sure that the whole text message with Ryan is a red herring and it’s only his dry cleaning that’s done.

Still, despite the badness with this show, one just has to watch. Despite being compellingly bad, this season finale sets up a whole world of possibilities for next season for even more badness.

And I am sure right now many of the top sunglasses companies are vying to be Horatio’s new shades of choice. The drama…I almost can’t take it!



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5 comments:

Sara said...

For someone who sees the tarmac on a regular basis, sometimes 3 to 4 times a week, you're observation is hilarious. I have never seen one quite that shiny either, in fact, I would be afraid to take off or land if I did.

Cole said...

If someone COULD LOOK PAST the mistakes and snafus. But one can't and the scene at the end was lame at best. Too predictable and notr really much of a cliffhanger.

Anonymous said...

Of course, since we know that drama queen David Caruso is the whole reason why this show exists (he may think it’s why the WORLD exists)

LOL..ou are so right

Julia J said...

Sadly, I agree with your comments on Ho ... 'sadly' because I'd hoped CSI:M would be a good show, as the scenery's so gorgeous. :) (By the way, interesting how the three shows looked so different: CSI hot, dry, and neon; CSI:M blazingly brilliant; CSI:NY dark and moody.) Unfortunately it went the way the original did - almost every episode personally involving at least one team member; tiring, and predictable. But this was even worse: Ho's 'striking a pose' really got irritating. And taking his sunglasses off outside, putting them on to go back into shade. Ah well, there's always Night Court reruns! And NCIS. And Sherlock and Elementary.

Julia J said...

Sadly, I agree with your comments on Ho ... 'sadly' because I'd hoped CSI:M would be a good show, as the scenery's so gorgeous. :) (By the way, interesting how the three shows looked so different: CSI hot, dry, and neon; CSI:M blazingly brilliant; CSI:NY dark and moody.) Unfortunately it went the way the original did - almost every episode personally involving at least one team member; tiring, and predictable. But this was even worse: Ho's 'striking a pose' really got irritating. And taking his sunglasses off outside, putting them on to go back into shade. Ah well, there's always Night Court reruns! And NCIS. And Sherlock and Elementary.